Stephen
David O'Hara as "Stephen" in Braveheart (1995):
[after killing a would-be assassin]I didn't like him anyway. He wasn't right in the head.
Jack Burton
Jack Burton
Actor: Kurt Russell (age 35 in this movie)
Jack Burton's Memorable Quotes:
Jack Burton
This is Jack Burton in the Pork Chop Express, and I'm talkin' to whoever's listenin' out there.
Jack Burton
Everybody relax, I'm here.
Jack Burton
Okay. You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we're not back by dawn... call the president.
Jack Burton
Like I told my last wife, I says, "Honey, I never drive faster than I can see. Besides that, it's all in the reflexes."
Margo
Jack Burton
God, aren't you even gonna kiss her goodbye?Nope.
Jack Burton
I'm a reasonable guy. But, I've just experienced some very unreasonable things.
Jack Burton
Wang Chi
Feel pretty good. I'm not, uh, I'm not scared at all. I just feel kind of... feel kind of invincible.Me, too. I got a very positive attitude about this.Good, me too.Yeah!

[pause]

Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?
Gracie Law
Jack Burton

[Jack starts up the Pork Chop Express]

What was that?6.9 on the Richter scale!
Jack Burton
Ol' Jack always says... what the hell?
Jack Burton
When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."
Jack Burton
Thunder
You know what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like this?Who?Jack Burton. *Me*!
Jack Burton
Well, ya see, I'm not saying that I've been everywhere and I've done everything, but I do know it's a pretty amazing planet we live on here, and a man would have to be some kind of FOOL to think we're alone in THIS universe.
Jack Burton
Tall guy, weird clothes. First you see him, then you don't.
Jack Burton
This is gonna take crackerjack timing, Wang.
Jack Burton
Would you stop rubbing your body up against mine, because I can't concentrate when you do that.
Jack Burton
Egg Shen
That is not water.Black blood of the earth.Do you mean oil?I mean black blood of the earth.
Wang Chi
Jack Burton
Here's to the Army and Navy and the battles they have won; here's to America's colors, the colors that never run.May the wings of liberty never lose a feather.
Gracie Law
Jack Burton
I'd go with you but...I know, there's a problem with your face.
Jack Burton
Wang Chi

[tapping on the walls]

Two, three feet thick, I'll bet. Probably welded shut from the outside, and covered with brick by now!Don't give up, Jack!Oh, okay, I won't, Wang! Let's just *chew* our way outta here.
Jack Burton
[last lines]Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol' storm right square in the eye and he says, "Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it."
Wang Chi
Jack Burton
You ready, Jack?I was born ready.
Jack Burton
All I know is, this Lo Pan character comes out of thin air in the middle of a goddamn alley while his buddies are flying around on wires cutting everybody to shreds, and he just stands there waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him with *light* coming out of his mouth!
Jack Burton
We really shook the pillars of heaven, didn't we, Wang?
Jack Burton
Egg Shen
What's in the flask, Egg? Magic potion?Yeah.Thought so, good. What do we do, drink it?Yeah!Good! Thought so.
Jack Burton
Wang Chi

[pointing to Chinese writing on elevator]

What does that say?[speaks Chinese] Hell of Boiling Oil.You're kidding.Yeah, I am. It says Keep Out.
Egg Shen
Jack Burton
It will come out no more!What? Huh? What'll come out no more?Come on.Dammit!
Jack Burton
Lo Pan
You can go off and rule the universe from beyond the grave.Indeed!Or check into a psycho ward, which ever comes first, huh?
Jack Burton
Son of a bitch must pay!
Eddie Lee
Jack Burton
Well sure it was a war. And anybody that showed up was gonna join Lem Lee in the Hell of Being Cut to Pieces.Hell of being what?Chinese have a lot of Hells.
Uncle Chu
Jack Burton
Gracie Law
What the hell is Gracie Law doing here?She can't get enough of me.Hah! He wishes.
Jack Burton
Lo Pan
I don't get this at all. I thought Lo Pan...Shut up, Mr. Burton! You are not brought upon this world to get it!
Jack Burton
Wang Chi
[Jack points to the wall]Hollow?Hollow.Fuck it.

[Jack wacks open the hollow wall with his knife]

Jack Burton
White Tiger
[in a whore house]Henry Swanson's my name, and excitement's my game.Cash or charge?Oh gosh, cash, I guess. I mean it's not deductible, is it.
Jack Burton
Egg Shen
Oh, my god, no. Please! What is that? Don't tell me!A guardian. What it sees, Lo Pan knows!
Jack Burton
Wang Chi
Wang, these guys, these Sing Dings...Chang Sings.They got enemies?Wing Kong.Who wear red turbans?

[sees they're now surrounded by Wing Kong warriors]

Holy SHIT! These guys are animals, Jack!
Jack Burton
[on phone to insurance company]I'm gonna tell you about an accident, and I don't wanna hear "act of God"!
Jack Burton
What does that mean? Huh? "China is here." I don't even know what the hell that means.
Jack Burton
Which Lo Pan? Little old basket case on wheels or the ten foot tall roadblock?
Egg Shen
Jack Burton
Can see things no one else can see. Do things no one else can do.Real things?As real as Lo Pan!Hey, what more can a guy ask for?Oh, the six-demon bag!Terrific, a six-demon bag. Sensational. What's in it, Egg?Wind, fire, all that kind of thing!
Jack Burton
[speaking to Lo Pan] Are you crazy... Is that your problem?
Jack Burton
We made it. Holy shit, we made it!
Jack Burton
I took something. I can see things no one else can see. Why're you dressed like that?
Wang Chi
Jack Burton
They got this sorta clubhouse thing, you know, where they all hang out.Sharpen their knives, huh?I can't ask you to...Where is it?Thank you, Jack.
Jack Burton
You got a tongue, Dave. Ask her yourself.
Gracie Law
Jack Burton

[on their way to confront Lo Pan]

Do you have a gun, I hope?I have a knife.A knife? This guy's twelve feet tall!Seven. Hey, don't worry, I can handle him.
Egg Shen
Jack Burton
Lo Pan is down there.Down where?Where is the universe?
Jack Burton
Abandoned like hell!
Jack Burton
Is this gonna get ugly, now? Huh? I hope not. Because I thought what we were here, racial differences notwithstanding, was just a couple of old friends. You know, just both of us Californians.
Wang Chi
Jack Burton
Jack, first I gotta go somewhere, Jack.No, you don't.Yeah, I do. So how 'bout we meet at my restaurant in a few hours, you know? I pay the money then.Pay the money now! Where you gotta go?The airport.Yeah, right. Over my dead body.If need be.
Wang Chi
Jack Burton
Eddie Lee
Gracie Law
Jack, listen, I need more of your help. I can't pay you today, okay?Oh, shit.How can I? I need all my cash for Miao Yin.And it's gonna cost. She's got green eyes.Oh no, seriously? Oh, that's an extra to these people. It's like leather bucket seats, it's double the price.
Jack Burton
Uncle Chu
Wang Chi
Eddie Lee
Mutual Fidelity Insureres of Sacramento... well there's gotta be a listing honey, cause I pay 'um 6 g's a year in premiums.China is here Mr. Burton. The Chang Sing, The Wing Kong, they've been fighting for centuries.What the hell does that mean? huh? China is here, I don't even know what the hell that means, all I know is this "Lo Pan" character comes out of thin air in the middle of a goddamn alley while his buddies are flying around on wires cutting everybody to shreds, and he just stands there waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him, with light coming out of his mouth!Jack please...

[lightning strikes and Wang becomes silent]

WHAT HAPPENED!He didnt uncle Chu, not like he says.

[diverting from his phone call]

Sure did uncle Chu, 2 hours ago, Tall guy Weird clothes, first you see him then you don't.

[back to his call]

yeah, is this just a switch board or something...Lo Pan appeared on the street? Wang Chi why didn't you tell me?We didn't want to alarm you uncle.[on his phone call] I'm gonna tell you about an accident and I dont want to hear an act of god alright.

[enter Eddie]

Good Afternoon Mr. WongEddie, meet my dear friend Jack Burton. Jack, Eddie is the new maitre'd here at the Black Pool.And a whole lot more.[on his phone call] I don't know my policy number, it's in the glove compartment, just look under B.U.R.T.O.N. alright.Jack Burton?

[Jack turns to his name being called]

Wow, the guy you always told me about huh? So that was your abandon truck.Yeah, abandon like hell.

[to the phone]

Hey! Hello! Hello! AAHHH Christ.Bad news. The Lords of Death stole it after you ran away.They stole my truck?It's ok Jack, you're with friend, we'll find it for you.You're Goddamn right your gonna help me find it, and my money, and time is money to a guy lik me...

[points to uncle Chu]

... and your phone is dead by the way.
Lo Pan
Wang Chi
Jack Burton
And when I find her, I will marry her...Never!Ching Dai will be appeased, my curse will be lifted!And you can go on to rule the universe from beyond the grave.Indeed!Or check into a psycho ward, whichever comes first, right?Jack, will you...?"Jack" what? I'm supposed to buy this shit? 2000 years, he can't find one broad to fit the bill? Come on, Dave, you must be doing something seriously wrong!There have been others, to be sure. There are always others. But you know, Mr. Burton, the difficulties between men and women. How seldom it works out? Yet we all keep trying, like fools.
Jack Burton
If you have problem like that again, reach for the sky!
Lo Pan
Jack Burton
Then Ching Dai will be happy and my curse will be lifted!And go off to rule the universe from beyond the grave.Indeed!Or check into a psycho ward, which ever comes first huh!
Lo Pan
Jack Burton

[Yells at Wang in Chinese after growing frustrated with Jack's dismissive attitude]

Mr. Burton, if you have an influence over your youthful friend, you better exert it now. Otherwise, I will have you both brought out to the hell where people are skinned alive and set symbol, understand?[Leans forward] Are you crazy, is that your problem?[1724]:No, he means it Jack.
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More Memorable Characters from Big Trouble in Little China: