Doc Holliday
Val Kilmer as "Doc Holliday" in Tombstone (1993):
My hypocrisy goes only so far.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Actor: R. Lee Ermey (age 43 in this movie)
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman's Memorable Quotes:
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Today, you people are no longer maggots! Today, you are MARINES! You're part of a brotherhood! From now on, until the day you die, EVERY MARINE is your BROTHER!

Most of you will go to Vietnam! Some of you will NOT COME BACK! But, always remember this - the Marine Corps lives FOREVER! And, that means you will live FOREVER!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Today... is Christmas! There will be a magic show at zero-nine-thirty! Chaplain Charlie will tell you about how the free world will conquer Communism with the aid of God and a few Marines! God has a hard-on for Marines because we kill everything we see! He plays His games, we play ours! To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls! God was here before the Marine Corps! So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps! Do you ladies understand?
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
[Hartman gives a speech to the graduating recruits]Today, you people are no longer maggots. Today, you are Marines. You're part of a brotherhood. From now on until the day you die, wherever you are, every Marine is your brother. Most of you will go to Vietnam. Some of you will not come back. But always remember this: Marines die. That's what we're here for. But the Marine Corps lives forever. And that means YOU live forever.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
[first lines]I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir". Do you maggots understand that?

[Recruits]:[In unison in a normal speaking tone] Sir, yes Sir.

Bullshit I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair!

[Recruits]:[In unison, much louder] SIR, YES SIR!

If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit! Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Cowboy
How tall are you, private?Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece o' shit, Private Pyle, or did you have to work on it?
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Oh that's right, Private Pyle, don't make any fucking effort to get to the top of the fucking obstacle. If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't he?
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
The deadliest weapon in the world is a Marine and his rifle. It is your killer instinct which must be harnessed if you expect to survive in combat. Your rifle is only a tool. It is a hard heart that kills. If your killer instincts are not clean and strong you will hesitate at the moment of truth. You will not kill. You will become dead marines and then you will be in a world of shit because marines are not allowed to die without permission. Do you maggots understand?
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Gomer Pyle
Do you think I'm cute, Private Pyle? Do you think I'm funny?Sir, no, sir!Then wipe that disgusting grin off your face.Sir, yes, sir.

[tries to stop smiling]

Well, any fucking time, sweetheart!Sir, I'm trying, sir.Private Pyle I'm gonna give you three seconds; exactly three-fucking-seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you! ONE! TWO! THREE!Sir, I can't help it, sir.Bullshit! Get on your knees scumbag!

[Pyle drops down to his knees]

Now choke yourself.

[Pyle wraps his own hands around his throat]

Goddamn it, with MY hand, numb-nuts!

[Pyle reaches for Hartman's hand]

Don't pull my fucking hand over there! I said choke yourself; now lean forward and choke yourself!

[Pyle does so]

Are you through grinning?[gagging] Sir, yes, sir.Bullshit, I can't hear you![louder] Sir, yes, sir.Bullshit, I STILL can't hear you! Sound off like you've got a pair!SIR, YES, SIR!That's enough! Get on your feet. Private Pyle you had best square your ass away and start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely fuck you up!Sir, yes, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Bullshit. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Tonight, you pukes will sleep with your rifles. You will give your rifle a girl's name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary-Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over! You're married to this piece. This weapon of iron and wood. And you will be faithful. Port, hut!

[Recruits grabs their rifles]

Prepare to mount!

[Recruits step back towards their bunks]

Mount!

[Recruits quickly hop onto their bunks]

Port, hut!

[Recruits grabs their rifles and holds them up]

Pray![Recruits]:[chanting] This is my rifle. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my rifle and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.Order, hut!

[Recruits puts the guns at their sides]

At ease! Good night, ladies.[Recruits]:Good night, sir![to the watchman] Hit it, sweetheart.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Pickett
Toe Jam
Adams
Taylor
Private Joker
Private Gomer Pyle
Private Cowboy
Pickett!Sir, yes, sir!0300. Infantry. Toe Jam!Sir, yes, sir!0300. Infantry. Adams!Sir, yes, sir!1800. Engineers. You go out and find mines. Cowboy!Sir, yes, sir!0300. Infantry. Taylor!Sir, yes, sir!0300. Infantry. Joker!Sir, yes, sir!4212. Basic Military Journalism. You gotta be shittin' me, Joker. You think you're Mickey Spillane? You think you're some kind of a fuckin' writer?Sir, I wrote for my high school newspaper, sir!Jesus H. Christ! You're not a writer. You're a killer!A killer, yes, sir!Gomer Pyle. GOMER PYLE![staring into space] Sir, yes, sir!You forget your fuckin' name? 0300. Infantry. You made it.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Gomer Pyle
[at the Firing Range, Pvt. Pyle is shooting at the targets, doing an impressive job while Hartman watches]Outstanding, Private Pyle. I think we finally found something that you do well.Sir, yes, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Joker
Private Gomer Pyle
What's your sixth general order?Sir, the private's sixth general order is to receive, obey, and pass on to the sentry who relieves me... all orders - Sir, the private's sixth general order - Sir, the private has been instructed, but he does not know, sir!You slimy scumbag! Get on your face and give me 25.Sir, aye-aye, sir!

[Gunnery Sgt. Hartman walks toward Pvt. Pyle; Pyle holds up his rifle]

How many counts in that movement you just executed?[hard and firm tone] Sir, four counts, sir!What's the idea of looking down in the chamber?Sir, that is to guarantee that the private is not giving the inspecting officer a loaded weapon, sir!What's your fifth general order?Sir, the private's fifth general order is to quit my post only when properly relieved, sir!What's this weapon's name, Private Pyle?Sir, the private's weapon's name is Charlene, sir!Private Pyle, you are definitely born again hard! Hell, I may even allow you to serve as a rifleman in my beloved Corps.Sir, yes, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Joker
Private Snowball
Private Joker, do you believe in the Virgin Mary?Sir, no, sir!Well, well, Private Joker, I don't believe I heard you correctly!Sir, the private said "no, sir," sir!Why you little maggot, you make me want to vomit!

[slaps Joker]

You Goddamn communist heathen, you had best sound off that you love the Virgin Mary, or I'm gonna stomp your guts out! Now you DO love the Virgin Mary, don't ya?Sir, NEGATIVE, sir!Private Joker, are you trying to offend me?Sir, NEGATIVE, sir! Sir, the private belives any answer he gives will be wrong and the Senior Drill Instructor will only beat him harder if he reverses himself, SIR!Who's your squad leader, scumbag?Sir, the squad leader is Private Snowball, sir!Private Snowball!Sir, Private Snowball reporting as ordered, sir!Private Snowball, you're fired. Private Joker's promoted to squad leader.Sir, aye-aye, sir!Disappear, scumbag!Sir, aye-aye, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Cowboy
Where the hell are you from anyway, private?Sir, Texas, sir.Holy dog shit! Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy, and you don't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?Sir, no, sir!Are you a peter puffer?Sir, no, sir!I bet you're the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Cowboy
Private Joker
As soon as your bunks are done, I want you two turds to clean the head. and Sir, yes, sir.I want that head so sanitary and squared-away that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in and take a dump.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Cowboy
Are you shook up? Are you nervous?Sir, I am, sir.Do I make you nervous?Sir?"Sir" what? Were you about to call me an asshole?
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Joker
[referring to Lee Harvey Oswald and mass murderer Charles Whitman]Do any of you people know where these individuals learned how to shoot?... Private Joker.Sir. In the Marines, Sir.In the Marines. Outstanding. Those individuals showed what one motivated Marine and his rifle can do. And before you ladies leave my Island, you will all be able to do the same thing.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Cowboy
What's your excuse?Sir, excuse for what, sir?I'm asking the fucking questions here, private! Do you understand?Sir, yes, sir.Well, thank you very much! Can I be in charge for a while?Sir, yes, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
[Marching Song]I don't know but I been told...

[Marines]:I don't know but I been told...

Eskimo pussy is mighty cold.

[Marines]:Eskimo pussy is mighty cold.

MMM, good...

[Marines]:MMM, good...

Tastes good...

[Marines]:Tastes Good...

Feels Good.

[Marines]:Feels good.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Gomer Pyle
Did your parents have any children that lived?Sir, yes, sir.I bet they regret that. You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece! What's your name fat body?Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir.Lawrence? Lawrence what... of Arabia?Sir, no, sir.That name sounds like royalty. Are you royalty?Sir, no, sir.Do you suck dicks?Sir, no, sir.Bullshit. I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.Sir, no, sir.I don't like the name Lawrence, only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence. From now on you're Gomer Pyle.Sir, yes, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Joker
What is this Mickey Mouse shit? What in the name of Jesus H. Christ are you animals doing in my head? Why is Private Pyle out of his bunk after lights-out? Why is Private Pyle holding that weapon? Why aren't you stomping Private Pyle's guts out?Sir, it is the private's duty to inform the senior drill instructor that Private Pyle has a full magazine that is locked and loaded, Sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Gomer Pyle
Holy Jesus! What is that? What the fuck is that? WHAT IS THAT, PRIVATE PYLE?Sir, a jelly doughnut, sir!A jelly doughnut?Sir, yes, sir!How did it get here?Sir, I took it from the mess hall, sir!Is chow allowed in the barracks, Private Pyle?Sir, no, sir!Are you allowed to eat jelly doughnuts, Private Pyle?Sir, no, sir!And why not, Private Pyle?Sir, because I'm too heavy, sir!Because you are a disgusting fat body, Private Pyle!Sir, yes, sir!Then why did you try to sneak a jelly doughnut in your footlocker, Private Pyle?Sir, because I was hungry, sir!Because you were hungry...

[turns and addresses rest of platoon]

Private Pyle has dishonored himself and dishonored the platoon. I have tried to help him. But I have failed. I have failed because YOU have not helped me. YOU people have not given Private Pyle the proper motivation! So, from now on, whenever Private Pyle fucks up, I will not punish him! I will punish all of YOU! And the way I see it ladies, you owe me for ONE JELLY DOUGHNUT! NOW GET ON YOUR FACES!

[rest of recruits get in front-leaning-rest position, Hartman turns to Pyle]

Open your mouth!

[shoves jelly doughnut into PYLE's mouth]

They're payin' for it; YOU eat it! Ready! Exercise!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Snowball
What's your name, scumbag?Sir, Private Brown, sir!Bullshit! From now on you're Private Snowball. Do you like that name?Sir, yes, sir!Well there's one thing that you won't like, they don't serve fried chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in my mess hall.Sir, yes, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Gomer Pyle
[when Private Pyle is on the obstacle course]Get your fat ass up there! I'll bet if there was some pussy up there you would get up there, wouldn't you?Sir, yes sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Gomer Pyle
Private Joker
Private Pyle!Private Pyle reporting as ordered, sir!Private Pyle, Private Joker is your new squad leader, and you WILL bunk with him! He'll teach you everything; he'll teach you how to pee!Sir, aye aye, sir!Private Joker, he's silly and he's ignorant, but he's got guts and guts is enough. Now you two ladies carry on!Sir, aye aye, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Gomer Pyle

[after discovering Private Pyle's unlocked footlocker]

Jesus H Christ. Private Pyle, why is your footlocker unlocked?Sir, I don't know, sir.Private Pyle, if there is one thing in this world that I hate, it is an unlocked footlocker! You know that don't you?Sir, yes, sir.If it wasn't for dickheads like you, there wouldn't be any thievery in this world, would there?Sir, no, sir.GET DOWN!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Pick 'em up and set 'em down Pyle!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Do you feel dizzy? Do you feel faint! Jesus H. Christ! I think you've got a hard-on!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Gomer Pyle
[calling out to platoon] Left shoulder, hut!

[Pyle accidentally puts his rifle on his right shoulder, then corrects quickly, but not before Hartman sees it. He walks up on him]

Private Pyle, what are you trying to do to my beloved Corps?Sir, I don't know, sir!You are dumb, Private Pyle, but do you expect me to believe that you don't know left from right?Sir, no, sir!Then you did that on purpose! You wanna be different!Sir, no, sir![slaps Pyle hard on the left hand side of his face] What side was that, Private Pyle?Sir, left side, sir![shouts] Are you sure, Private Pyle?Sir, yes, sir![slaps him hard again, this time on right side of his face, knocking his hat off; shouts]

What side was that, Private Pyle?

[nearly in tears] Sir, right side, sir!Don't fuck with me again, Pyle! Pick up your fuckin' cover!Sir, yes, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
[Pvt. Joker is doing pull-ups. Hartman counts them off]One for the Commandant! One for the Corps! Come on Joker, pull! Pull!

[Pvt. Joker can't complete another pull-up]

I guess the Corps don't get theirs!

[Pvt. Joker moves on. Pvt. Pyle steps up to the bar]

Get up there, fat boy!

[Pvt. Pyle tries with all his might, but cannot do a single pull-up]

Come on, Pyle! Pull! Pull! You mean to tell me you can't do one single pull up Pyle? You are a worthless piece of shit, Pyle! Get outta my face!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
[singing] Ho Chi Minn is a son of a bitch.[Recruits]:[singing] Ho Chi Minn is a son of a bitch.[singing] Got the blueballs, crabs and the seven-year-itch![Recruits]:[singing] Got the blueballs, crabs and the seven-year-itch!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Come on, guys. Assholes and elbows.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
[singing] I don't want no teenage queen![Recruits]:[singing] I don't want no teenage queen![singing] I just want my M-14![Recruits]:[singing] I just want my M-14![singing] If I die in the combat zone...[Recruits]:[singing] If I die in the combat zone...[singing] Box me up and ship me home![Recruits]:[singing] Box me up and ship me home![singing] Pin my medals up on my chest![Recruits]:[singing] Pin my medals up on my chest![singing] Tell my mom I've Done my best![Recruits]:[singing] Tell my mom I've Done my best!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Cowboy
Private Joker
Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing! I will PT you all until you fucking die! I'll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk!

[Gunnery Sgt. Hartman grabs Pvt. Cowboy by the shirt]

Was it you, you scroungy little fuck, huh?Sir, no Sir!You little piece of shit! You look like a fucking worm! I bet it was you!Sir, no Sir!Sir, I said it, Sir!Well, no shit. What have we got here, a fucking comedian? Private Joker. I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my sister!

[Gunnery Sgt. Hartman punches Pvt. Joker in the stomach]

You little scumbag! I got your name! I got your ass! You will not laugh! You will not cry! You will learn by the numbers. I will teach you! Now get up! Get on your feet! You had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck!Sir, Yes sir!Private Joker, why did you join my beloved Corps?Sir, to kill, sir!So you're a killer?Sir, yes sir!Then let me see your war face![nervously] Sir?You got a war face! AAAAAAAAHH! That's a war face, let me see your war face!Ahhhh!Bullshit. You didn't convince me. let me see your REAL war face![Screaming] AHHHHHHHHHHH!You don't scare me! Work on it!Sir, yes sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
[singing] Mama and Papa were laying in bed![Recruits]:[singing] Mama and Papa were laying in bed![singing] Mama rolled over this is what she said.[Recruits]:[singing] Mama rolled over this is what she said.[singing] 'Oh, give me some...[Recruits]:[singing] 'Oh, give me some...[singing] 'Oh, give me some...[Recruits]:[singing] 'Oh, give me some...P.T.[Recruits]:P.T.Good for you.[Recruits]:Good for you.Good for me![Recruits]:Good for me!Mmm, good![Recruits]:Mmm, good![singing] Up in the morning to the rising sun![Recruits]:[singing] Up in the morning to the rising sun![singing] Gotta run all day... till the running's done![Recruits]:[singing] Gotta run all day... till the running's done!Ho Chi Minh is a son of a bitch![Recruits]:Ho Chi Minh is a son of a bitch!Got the blueballs, crabs and the seven-year itch![Recruits]:Got the blueballs, crabs and the seven-year itch!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Reveille! Reveille! Reveille! Drop your Cocks and grab your socks! Today is Sunday! Divine worship is at 0800. Get your bunks made and get your uniforms on! Police call will commence in two minutes!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
[chanting] This is my rifle.

[grabbing his crotch]

This is my gun.

[Marines]:This is for fighting.

[Marines]:[grabbing their crotches] This is for fun.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Pyle, your ass looks like about a hundred and fifty pounds of chewed bubblegum!
Private Joker
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Cowboy
[doing a bad John Wayne impersonation] Is that you John Wayne? Is this me?Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit twinkle toed cock-sucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing. I will P.T. you all until fucking die. I'll P.T you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk![Grabs Cowboy and questions him] Was you you scroungy little fuck, huh?Sir, No Sir!You little piece of shit, you look like a fucking worm. I'll bet it was you!Sir, No Sir!Sir, I said it sir.Well, no shit. What have we got here? A fucking comedian, Private Joker. I admire your honesty. Hell I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister.[hits Joker in the belly who falls to his knees] You little scumbag! I got your name, I got your ass! You will not laugh, you will not cry. You will learn by the numbers, I will teach you. Now get up, get on your feet. You had best unfuck your self or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck![gets back to his feet] Sir, yes Sir!Private Joker why did you join my beloved Corps?Sir, to kill sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Private Cowboy
Private Snowball
Private Joker
Do any of you people know who Charles Whitman was? None of you dumbasses knows? Private Cowboy?Sir, he was that guy who shot all those people from that tower in Austin, Texas, sir!That's affirmative. Charles Whitman killed twelve people from a twenty-eight-story observation tower at the University of Texas from distances up to four hundred yards. Anybody know who Lee Harvey Oswald was? Private Snowball?Sir, he shot Kennedy, sir!That's right, and do you know how far away he was?Sir, it was pretty far! From that book suppository building, sir!All right, knock it off! Two hundred and fifty feet! He was two hundred and fifty feet away and shooting at a moving target. Oswald got off three rounds with an old Italian bolt action rifle in only six seconds and scored two hits, including a head shot! Do any of you people know where these individuals learned to shoot? Private Joker?Sir, in the Marines, sir!In the Marines! Outstanding! Those individuals showed what one motivated marine and his rifle can do! And before you ladies leave my island, you will be able to do the same thing!
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