Nicky Santoro
Joe Pesci as "Nicky Santoro" in Casino (1995):
We're supposed to be robbin' this place, you dumb fuckin' Hebe.
The Joker
The Joker
Actor: Jack Nicholson (age 52 in this movie)
The Joker's Memorable Quotes:
The Joker
Bruce Wayne
Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?What?I always ask that of all my prey. I just... like the sound of it.

[shoots him]

The Joker
I have given a name to my pain, and it is Batman.
The Joker
Where does he get those wonderful toys?
Vicki Vale
The Joker
What do you want?My face on the one dollar bill.You must be joking.Do I look like I'm joking?
The Joker
The pen, is truly mightier than the sword!
The Joker
Hello, Vinny. It's your Uncle Bingo. Time to pay the check!
The Joker
Haven't you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?
Carl Grissom
The Joker
That you, sugar bumps?

[turns around to see a man]

Who the hell are you?It's me, Sugar bumps.Jack? Oh, oh, thank God you're alive! I heard you'd been...Fried? Is that what you heard? You set me up over a woman. A *woman*! You must be insane.

[Grissom goes for his gun]

Don't bother.Your life won't be worth spit!I've been dead once already. It's very liberating. You should think of it as, uh... therapy.Jack, listen. Maybe we can cut a deal.Jack? Jack is dead, my friend.

[steps into the light]

You can call me... Joker. And as you can see, I'm a lot happier.

[laughs, and then proceeds to kill Grissom]

The Joker

[talking to a gargoyle]

What are you laughin' at?
The Joker
Vicki Vale
I've recently had a tragedy in my life. Alicia...

[lays the mask that Alicia wore on the table]

...threw herself out of the window.Oh, my God.But, you can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs.

[breaks the mask and starts giggling]

Vicki Vale
The Joker
You're insane!I thought I was a Pisces!
The Joker

[reciting his poem to Vicki]

I'm only laughing on the outside / My smile is just skin deep / If you could see inside I'm really crying / You might join me for a weep.
The Joker
Bruce Wayne
Bruce... Wayne, n'est-ce pas?Most of the time.
Batman
The Joker
I'm going to kill you!You IDIOT! You made me. Remember? You dropped me into that vat of chemicals. That wasn't easy to get over, and don't think that I didn't try.I know you did.

[punches him again]

The Joker
Never rub another man's rhubarb.
The Joker
Gotham City. Always brings a smile to my face.
The Joker
[Joker gives someone a hand and electrocutes him] Oh, I got a live one here!
The Joker
[the Joker sees a picture of Vicki Vale] Stop the press, who is that?
The Joker
Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile.
Batman
The Joker
You killed my parents.What? What? What are you talking about?I made you, you made me first.Hey, bat-brain, I mean, I was a kid when I killed your parents. I mean, I say "I made you" you gotta say "you made me." I mean, how childish can you get?
The Joker
And now, folks, it's time for "Who do you trust!" Hubba, hubba, hubba! Money, money, money! Who do you trust? Me? I'm giving away free money. And where is the Batman? HE'S AT HOME WASHING HIS TIGHTS!
The Joker
New and improved Joker products! With a new secret ingredient: Smylex.
The Joker
My balloons. Those are my balloons. He stole my balloons! Why didn't somebody tell me he had one of those... things? Bob, gun.

[Bob hands him a gun, Joker shoots him]

I'm gonna need a minute or two alone, boys.
The Joker
TV Technician
Joker here.We got interference. Call the OB unit, will ya?Now you fellas have said some pretty mean things. Some of which *were* true under that fiend, Boss Grissom. He *was* a thief, and a terrorist. On the other hand he had a tremendous singing voice. He's dead now, and he's left me in charge. Now, I can be theatrical, and maybe even a little rough - but one thing I am not, is a *killer*. I am an artist. I *love* a good party. So, truce. Commence au festival!
The Joker
[the Batwing is flying at Joker] Come on, you gruesome son of a bitch! Come to me. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Come on!
The Joker
Darling, I've got to get you to the church on time.
The Joker
[fuming] Batman... Batman... Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in, where a man dressed up as a *bat* gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!
The Joker
[Joker reads the newspaper] "Winged freak terrorizes"? Wait till they get a load of me!
The Joker
Bob the Goon
Who is that loss?It's Knox.Bad tie.
The Joker
Vinnie Ricorso
So gentlemen, that's how it is. Until Grissom, uh resurfaces, I'm the acting President, and I say starting with this anniversary festival, we run the city into the ground.Why don't we hear this from Grissom?[1564]:Yeah. And what's with that stupid grin?Life's been good to me.[1564]:What if we say no?Well, Tony, nobody wants a war. If we can't do business, why, we'll just shake hands and that'll be it.[1564]:Yeah?

[shakes hands with the Joker and begins to get electrocuted]

Yeah.[1564]:[Shakes hands with The Joker and starts to get electrocuted]Whoo! Whoo! Oh, I got a live one here.

[starts to laugh hysterically]

[singing] Oh, there'll be a hot time in the old town tonight.Antoine got a little hot under the collar.You're crazy.Haven't you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?

[He begins to laugh again and mops sweat from his brow, exposing a patch of chalk-white flesh]

The Joker
I now do what other people only dream. I make art until someone dies. See? I am the world's first fully functioning homicidal artist.
The Joker
Mayor Borg
At midnight, I will dump twenty million in cash on the crowd. Don't worry about me, I've got enough.We are not prepared to discuss any deals.[pushes the Mayor off the TV] You heard it folks. Twenty million.
The Joker
As though we were made for each other... Beauty and the Beast. Of course, if anyone else calls you beast, I'll rip their lungs out.
The Joker
It can be truly said, that I have a bat in my belfry.

[laughs]

Shall we dance?
The Joker
Sometimes I just kill myself!
Antoine Rotelli
The Joker
What's with that stupid grin?Life's been good to me.
Bruce Wayne
The Joker
Let me tell you about this guy I know. Jack. Mean kid. Bad seed. Hurt people.I like him already.
The Joker
[after revealling his latest "work", Alicia] Well, I'm no Picasso, but do you like it?
The Joker
Antoine got a little hot under the collar.
The Joker
It's time to retire! Feel free to drop in.
The Joker
[reaches for a pair of glasses in his pocket and puts them on] You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you? Huh?

[Batman punches him]

The Joker
We've got a flying mouse to kill, and I wanna clean my claws.
The Joker
They don't make 'em like they used to! Do they, eh? Eh, Batsy?
The Joker
[upon entering the museum] Gentlemen! Let's broaden our minds. Lawrence?
The Joker
[Alicia sees Jack as the Joker for the first time] Honey, you'll never believe what happened to me today.

[Alicia faints]

Huh.[chuckles]
The Joker
[to Rotelli's charred and smoldering corpse]Your pals, uh, they're not bad people. Maybe we, uh, outta give them a couple of days to think it over.

[shakes head]

No?

[looks surprised]

Grease 'em now? Well, OK. You are a vicious bastard Rotelli, and, uh, I'm glad you're dead!
The Joker
Bob, I want you to go down to the globe. Follow that reporter Knox. Take your camera. See what he knows about this Batman. And Bob...

[imitates Grisson]

Remember... you... are my number one... guy!
The Joker
I'm of a mind to make some mookie.
Vicki Vale
The Joker
What can I do for you?Oh, little song, little dance. Batman's head on a lance.
The Joker

[examining Vicki's work]

Crap... crap... crap... crap...

[sees pictures of war victims]

Ah! Now that's good work! The skulls... the bodies... you give it all such a glow! I don't know if it's art, but I like it!
Vicki Vale
The Joker
You're insane!I thought I was a Pisces.
The Joker
Into the air, Junior Birdman! Missed me!
Alicia Hunt
The Joker

[Bob brings Alicia in]

Jack, you said I could watch you improve the paintings.Well I'm in trouble now.
Bruce Wayne
The Joker
I know who you are. Let me tell you about this guy I know, Jack. Mean kid. Bad seed. Hurt people.I like him already.

[laughs]

Now you know the problem was... he got sloppy. You know? Crazy. He started to lose it. He had a head full of bad wiring, I guess.

[Walks towards the fireplace]

Couldn't keep it straight up here.

[Points to his head]

He was the kind of guy who couldn't hear the train until it was 2 feet from him.Hmm.

[Smiles and nods his head]

You know what happened to this guy, Jack?

[Shakes his head]

Well... he made mistakes. Then he had his

[grabs a poker and smashes a vase]

LIGHTS OUT! Now you wanna get nuts? Come on! Let's get nuts.
The Joker

[shows up unexpectedly at Vicki's place]

Miss me? Nice place you've got here. Lots of space. Uh, Vicki, we've really got to have a talk. I'm very upset. We were having dinner. I was a man doing well with a beautiful woman. And without so much as an apology, you ran off with that sideshow phony.
The Joker

[sees Bruce Wayne enter the room]

Well, Miss Vale, another rooster in the henhouse.
The Joker

[after shooting Bruce Wayne]

Why is it everytime I come for you somebody always gets in the way?
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